Always Fighting for the Love of My Life

Edward J. Demyan; Pancreatic Cancer Victim; Supported and written by MaryKaye Mackulin, who loved him.
RIP my sweet man ... 1963 - 2011





Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Chardon Ohio You Are In My Prayers

Dear Chardon Ohio and the Families Suffering From This Tragic Event,
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  As the mother of a teenage daughter, I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through.  I am sad that your future will now be filled with more grief than you will be able to seem to bear.  You will bear it, because it is what we do.  This is just so incredibly senseless.  My daughter is in a private learning facility now, partly because of bullying issues partly because of her learning disability - school size was to big to manage by faculty & staff and she was so incredibly sad....  She is so well adjusted now and pretty much loving her new program.  Bullying is an epidemic, not unlike the cancer that stole my beloved.  There was no way in hell I was going to watch my only child continue to decline because of her daily environment, it was more than I could handle during my grieving over Ed.  I am NOT saying that bullying was an issue in the Chardon situation, it just keeps coming up.  It sounds more to me like the young man doing the shooting had severe issues and no one headed the warning signs.  I am a single Mom, but I pay close attention to my daughters attitudes and try and help her the best I can.  Too bad this young man didn't have the guidance he needed.  Grandparent's are awesome, but they are older and less wise to the ways of the world in this modern-tech filled century, in my opinion (again, my opinion).  My chest just aches.
RIP you three young men taken entirely too soon.  And a speedy recovery, both physically and mentally, to the two students still recovering.
And to all the families involved... find prayer, find support and love your family. 
Peace MK

Monday, February 27, 2012

Please Join Our Team

REGISTRATION OPEN FOR PURPLESTRIDE 2012, CLEVELAND!

HERE IS THE LINK TO REGISTER FOR PurpleStride2012 ON 6/16/2012 AT THE CLEVELAND METROPARKS ZOO:

http://bit.ly/PSCLE12

We Are Once Again "Ed's All Star Dream Team"

Let's Make Him Proud and Fight This Monster Of A Disease!










 

 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

30,015

Hit the 30,015 page views today! Thank you readers!

Monday, February 20, 2012

6 Months Now

So, the six month mark came and went on Friday 2/17/12...  The sting of missing Ed is still incredibly strong.  Valentines day brought back an awesome memory from VD 2011.  Last year Ed was in Brooklyn for VD week, no big deal, we didn't really celebrate that day.  But in 2011, I guess he felt like he needed to make a fairly grand gesture - maybe because we knew it would be his last - or just because he WAS Ed and had the incredible gift of making me feel special for no reason at all.  Man I miss him.  So anyway,  I was just coming downstairs to leave for work and I hear my house door open, I was like - Hmmm?!  Who is coming in my house at 8 a.m.?!  It was my darling man...  Although he was on disability by this time and had NO reason to get up early - he did.  He went to Malley's (you have to be from the CLE to understand this) and picked me up fresh chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate bacon bark with an awesome card of course.  I mean, come on man, how sweet is that.  Here is a guy on disability, with terminal cancer, in so much pain it cannot be described, but he gets up early, fights the VD crowd at Malley's, drives the 20 minutes to my house - all before I leave for work - so I could have a special day...  the level of Ed's UNselfishness is still astonishing to me.  I will never know another human who is/was so selfless as he was.  He truly did NOT have a selfish bone in his body - it was why it was so easy for people to take advantage of him - and they did.  It took him a long time to really identify who his true friend were and who would not take advantage of his great nature.  Again, it goes to why we didn't get married - he would have done it for me - but there was NO way in hell I was going to take advantage of that sweet nature and put all that pressure and stress on our already rough road.  Would I have loved to have married him - HELL YES...  But, as I stated before - it wasn't the most important thing.  Ed had already given me the most important piece of paper of his life - I was his Health Care Power of Attorney - He trusted me to make the decisions for his end of life - that is a great honor and shows trust on a level that some people will never know.  He knew I would absolutely honor his wishes - to let him die the way HE wanted - no feeding tubes, no vent, no prolonged suffering.  Does every part of your being want to do that stuff when you love someone to keep them alive, again, HELL YES...   Would I ever NOT honor his wishes - Not In This Or Any Other Lifetime.  He was DNR CC only, no heroic measures were to be taken to save his life at the end, it would have only prolonged his suffering - he fought hard - he was tired - it was time for him to go home.

I miss Ed so deeply and profoundly that words cannot describe it.  I loved him so deeply and profoundly, that words cannot describe it.  So for all you lovers out there - it's not about Valentines Day - it's about EVERY DAY.  And if you are not with your absolute Best Friend on your journey through life - don't waste anymore time - make a change.

Also - If you read this blog - you know that The Cleveland Pancreatic Cancer Action Network is gearing up for PurpleStride 2012 - Won't you Please Please consider joining Ed's All Star Dream Team or at least make a small donation to our team.  When it comes to Pancreatic Cancer - every SINGLE penny counts!  I'm not asking for big dollars, just a few would be greatly appreciated.  People being diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer need to know that it is not automatically a death sentence and that HOPE is in their future.

Copy & Paste this link to register or donate:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=1013361

or go to pancan.org and click on the "get involved" tab; go to "events & fundraising" look up the PurpleStride Signature Events - and find an upcoming PS in your community!  It's Easy - It's Important - It Could Save A Life!  We do not have the deep pockets like some other programs nor does the Gov't fund PC like some other cancers - we are grass roots - we need YOU!

Peace!  MK

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

REGISTRATION OPEN FOR PURPLESTRIDE 2012, CLEVELAND!

HERE IS THE LINK TO REGISTER FOR PurpleStride2012 ON 6/16/2012 AT THE CLEVELAND METROPARKS ZOO:

http://bit.ly/PSCLE12

We Are Once Again "Ed's All Star Dream Team"

Let's Make Him Proud and Fight This Monster Of A Disease!

PURPLESTRIDE 2012 - MARK YOUR CALENDAR NOW!!!

 
SATURDAY - JUNE 16, 2012
BE AT THE ZOO AND LET'S ALL CELEBRATE MY SWEET EDWARD JAMES... IT'S IMPORTANT AND YOU CAN HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

THE CLEVELAND AFFILIATE OF THE PANCREATIC CANCER ACTION NETWORK ANNOUNCES PURPLESTRIDE CLEVELAND,
SATURDAY, JUNE 16TH
AT THE CLEVELAND METROPARK ZOO
The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, a national organization creating hope in a comprehensive way through research, patient support, community outreach and advocacy for a cure, announces PurpleStride Cleveland 2012. The 5K run/2 mile walk will promote awareness and raise funds for pancreatic cancer research and takes place on Saturday June 16, 2012 at the Cleveland Metropark Zoo.
This community event is planned entirely by local volunteers and everyone is welcome to participate.

Pancreatic cancer has the lowest survival rate among leading cancer killers and has claimed the lives of many public figures, including actor Patrick Swayze, former American Medical Association President Dr. Ron Davis, Carnegie Mellon University Professor Dr. Randy Pausch, actor Michael Landon, opera tenor Luciano Pavarotti, famed journalist Dith PranUpshaw and Clevelands own Casey Coleman to name just a few.