10.3.11 Following PIB

As I was driving to work this morning, I realized I finally had my first real dream about Ed since he died. I couldn't decide if I had the dream because I was worried about this past weekend, and if he would truly be happy about being on PIB for all eternity (not all of him, just a little)...  Janet and Barb were convinced that it was absolutely the right thing. There were several "penny's from heaven" involved, a bartender named "Eddie" who's favorite saying was "Living The Dream", which most of his friends know was one of Ed's favorite sayings, etc - more on that in my blog later...  So, driving to work this morning, still wondering if it was right - the following song comes on 107.3,  Ed sang this song to me when we danced at my cousin's wedding last October and was one of his favorite songs and one of my favorite memories of him.  I have only heard it on the radio one other time, with Barb ironically.... So, I figure, he is happy.    I will meet you on the other side, Baby.

Just Breathe (Lyrics) Artist: Pearl Jam; Composer: Pearl Jam

Lyrics:

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..

As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..

I’m a lucky man to count on both hands

The ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,

Others they got none, aw huh,..

Stay with me,..

Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,

Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..

Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..

Yeah, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world

To make me bleed.

Stay with me,..

You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?

Did I say that I want you?

Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..

No one knows this more than me.

As I come clean.

I wonder everyday

As I look upon your face, aw huh,..

Everything you gave

And nothing you would take, aw huh,..

Nothing you would take,..

Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?

Oh, Did I say that I want you?

Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..

No one knows this more than me.

I come clean.

Nothing you would take,..

Everything you gave.

Hold me till I die,..

Meet you on the other side.

He was the best!  This is why I was at every doctor appointment, chemo treatment, invasive procedure, hospice the first go around for pain management and hospice for 6 days and nights at the end.  This is why I have to let go of some of the negative emotions I have been having.  I know what we had and it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or believes, because that is what Ed would have told me. 

You are in some pretty spectacular places now my love - I hope you enjoyed what you witnessed on Friday and Saturday, cause I sure enjoyed taking you on that trip!  Oh, and Barbie & Janet really had fun helping me - thank you sweet friends!  I think we now have a new tradition for PIB - Fall Ball look out, you have some new fans that will be joining you for some time to come, God willing.