Hello Everyone,
It amazes me that February is almost gone... Unlike the rest of the world, I think people faced with a terminal illness and are handed the "you have this many months left" diagnosis, the beginning of a new month is not very joyful. It just means you are one month closer to that fate that has been assigned to you. I cry a lot at the end of months because of this reason. So for those of you who insist on reminding me of how strong I am, I am not. I am a normal person with a realistic handle on what is happening in our lives. You would all do the same under these circumstances, o.k., most of you.
The other saying that Ed and I just love is the infamous "but you look so good"... I noted this way back in May of 2010 - yeah, he looks good on the outside, but his insides are reeking havoc on him. You all saw him on Sat. night jumping around on stage like the rock-star he is... what you don't see is the price he pays later that night and the entire next day. When he cannot walk for more than 5 minutes without being in huge amounts of pain. He does paint a pretty picture for his adoring fans and for that, I am more proud of him than he will ever know. He doesn't complain, he doesn't get angry, he never says bad things, his faith is as strong as ever - he is an outstanding human. I will be lost for a long time, possibly forever, without him.
I think he is going to take a short break from The Band, but I have a feeling it won't last long, after all, his guitar is something that helps him cope and writing music is his gift. And, although I am not a huge fan of hard rock, I have learned to appreciate his talent immensely. So, look for a Newport & Ed Fair well Show x4 sometime in the summer, if I know him!
Now, since he has decided to take a break from the fun that is Chemotherapy, he started his own Hydrogen Peroxide therapy. I am very unsure about this, but hey, it's his body and his choice ultimately. It is a food-grade HP, not like what you buy in the drug store. He puts a few drops in an 8 oz. glass of water and down the hatch it goes. This is supposed to add more oxygen to his body, and as most of us know, cancer cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. So, we will see if this does anything sometime in April when he goes for his next CT scans. I think he's a little nutty, but that is kinda why I love him so much, he is a little nutty.
And, yesterday, when I got home from work he left me a little vase with flowers in my bedroom with a card that read... "Just Because I Love You"... And that, my friends, is what makes him so special. No reason, just because he loves me.
Don't forget - Purple Stride Cleveland - June 18, 2011 at the Cleveland MetroParks Zoo. Join our team, we need volunteers & walkers or, if you are able to, make a small donation to our team to help fight this living, breathing monster:
http://pancan.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=451976&lis=0&kntae451976=F241E22D30D044C39232B52B002CEF84
With Love to all,
Ed and MK
Join us as we Stride each year, hold a vigil to honor those we love and wage war on Pancreatic Cancer in the CLE! On Facebook, The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Cleveland Affiliate & on Twitter, @pancancleveland - get involved! Be the Change! Wage Hope! www.purplestride.org/cleveland
We all know you are human MK. For that as well as many other reasons, is why we love you. Sometimes it's hard to sit back and see whats going on. I know as a friend, I have a hard time seeing a month end. It's cruel at best. We all, of course, don't know what to say. Just trying to stay positive. I cry for you both. This isn't suppose to happen...
ReplyDeleteYou deserve those flowers! For all reasons and for no reason! Love to you and Ed, today and always!
Thanks my sweet Nanc-bo :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog while looking for Dallas PanCan events. My husband is a pancreatic cancer survivor and I am passionate about fund raising for research. Although GTX chemo and subsequent Whipple surgery have miraculously removed for now what was diagnosed as terminal adenacarcinoma with liver metastis and encasement of the superior mesenteric, we know it could return at any time. If and when I lose my husband of 27 years, it will be the very worst pain and nothing I could ever do would mitigate that pain. I read the passage in your blog where you say Ed tells you to keep your expectations low and so on. Well, I say: What do you want to do -- beat the rush and feel bad now?" There are miracles out there. They may not always be as grandiose as the one we found, but we always feel every day above ground is a miracle. Any moment that is "normal" is a miracle. Laughing at a joke is a miracle. You guys have each other and that is a miracle.
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Dear Dallas Wife.... We do actually laugh quite a bit, we get along amazingly well, that is our miracle! I am glad your husband made it to surgery and hope he stays in that very small statistic for double digit survival years! As for feeling bad now, well it comes and it goes and I am sure you can relate. It is a roller-coaster ride of emotions and trying to stay on an even keel is so important for me, presonally. I am highly emotional and I need to keep myself in check, that is all that was meant by that.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment and I am glad you too are involved with the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network - we need to stop this monster!
MK & Ed
There is a multi-level marketing company that markets an oxygenated water machine. The machine I believe is too expensive for most people (it's a couple of thousand dollars). However I have tasted the water that it produces and it is easier to swallow than regular water.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people who buy into the MLM water machines will actually make the water and sell it very cheap. When my father was losing his battle with prostate cancer (he was almost 85 years old), he had trouble swallowing. I did not learn about oxygenated water being easier to swallow than regular water until after he had passed and I felt badly about that because it probably would have pleased him to be able to swallow water more easily.
If swallowing becomes an issue, you may want to see if anyone in the Cleveland area can make the oxygenated water available to you.
I think Ed may have heard about the peroxide therapy from my Dad! If so you've already read my blog at http://worked4me.wordpress.com, if not, feel free to check it out and pass the link along to anyone you think might benefit from my experience. I hope you have as much success with it as I did. My dad (and the peroxide) really saved my life!
ReplyDeleteHey how are you doing. I wanted to tell my brother about this. He has Pancreatic cancer and they cant cut it out because artery's are wrapped around it. Where do you get food grade HP, and how often are you taking it And what has been your outcome after HP treatment..Thank you David N. Please email me at davem7310@juno.com
ReplyDeleteI have heard a lot about how hydrogen peroxide therapy can help with cancer. I'm majoring in community health, and so I figure I might as well do my own research about it. How did the tests go? I'm interested to know if this worked for him at all. How long did he take it for?
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to say Ed didn't last long in his experiment with the HP therapy.... He hates it and it upset his stomach. He has been gone 10 months now and everyday I wake up and cannot believe he is not on this planet. Good luck in your research.
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